Update...

The first part of May I ended up getting really sick, had high fevers, couldnt eat just wanted to sleep, some of my lovely family said I wasnt sick that I was having withdrawls (withdrawls from what? you have to be doing something to have them..) my mom finally ended up taking me to the doctors and found out that I had monno (and no you dont get it from kissing it's a virus you get it the same way you get strep throat and it's really just a horrible case of strep throat!!!) and I also had a really bad infection that was in the worst spot ever (when you have an infection anywhere on your face they tend to drain into your brain, when that happens there is a high chance that it'll kill you..) hearing that I had an infection that would kill me was scary and being so sick that you didnt really understand anything was making things worse.. I know it was hard for my parents to deal with that and not know what was going to happen and on top of all that have to take care of me like a toddler again.. What really gets me is even after my mom told the part of my family what was actually wrong with me they still said that it's only withdrawls.. seriously why do I need to prove myself to my family and why cant they believe that I would never go back to doing that again (my parents believe me they trust me) my family can be so frustrating... so after four weeks of being sick I am finally better (gotten crap from som of my family because if I wasnt stupid and make it so I would have withdrawls people could of done things and not had to avoid me or baby sit me)

I've lost weight I finally fit back into my old clothes and I love it! I still want to lose some more weight though hopefully at the end of the summer I am where I want to be.

In five days Mike, Katie and Cayden are going to be here I finally get to meet my new nephew, and see Mike and Katie, I havent seen Mike since they moved which has been about five months, so much has changed since then, it's weird to think my brother is now a father, I think once I actually meet Cayden that it'll seem more real to me.

I've thought alot about life the past few weeks and I've realized there are only a few things that are important in life, Faith, Pray, Obediance and Family.. Knowing that life seems so much better and I think it's time for a change, so I am painting my room throwing away things that remind me of people and things I dont want to remember, even though there are things that I'll never forget but I can try to forgive them, it's so hard to forgive people for saying something so rude and so hurtful to you, but I think that if I cant forgive them for something petty then why should Heavenly Father forgive me for what I've done wrong, life is to short to have a grudge against someone..